REDLINE

Full members of the South African Guild of Motoring Journalists - since 1994

NEWS:

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Revving up your Faith

MOTORCYCLE TESTS:

Honda GL1000

QUAD TESTS:

Suzuki LT-Z400

CAR TESTS:

Aston Martin V8 Vantage Audi R8 FSI V8

CUSTOM CORNER - BIKES:

Biggest-Fastest-Bikes Big Ben - 36 cylinder

Kodlin Shine Goldhammer MTT Turbine Superbike

CUSTOM CORNER - CARS:

1931 Chevrolet Roadster

RATS:

Rat Bikes Rat Trikes Rat Cars

SCROLL DOWN FOR TIPS FOR BETTER MOTORCYCLING & MOTORING

The 50 Redline Tips For Better Motorcycling
1. The wheel turns. Do unto others, as you would like them to do unto you.
2. Saddlebags can never hold everything you want, but they can hold everything you need.
3. Wear heavy boots. You can't kick things when you're wearing takkies.
4. Never argue with a woman holding a torque wrench.
5. Routine maintenance should never be neglected.
6. The only good view of a thunderstorm is in your rear-view mirror. Never be afraid to slow down.
7. Only bikers understand why dogs love to stick their heads out car windows.
8. If it takes more than 3 bolts to hold it on, it's probably crucial.
9. Never ask your bike to scream before her throat is good and warm.
10. The number of kicks it takes to start your bike is directly proportional to the number of spectators.
11. A good rider has balance, judgment and good timing. So does a good lover.
12. Sometimes it takes a whole tank full of petrol before you can think straight.
13. Riding faster than everyone else only guarantees you'll ride alone.
14. If you don't ride in the rain, you don't ride.
15. A bike on the road is worth 2 in the shop.
16. Young riders pick a destination and go... old riders pick a direction and go.
17. When you look down the road, it seems to never end, but you better believe it does.
18. Overconfidence can be supplied by spare spark plugs, a set of spanners and a roll of toilet paper.
19. Advice is free and worth every cent!
20. Sometimes the fastest way to get there is to stop for the night.
21. Always back your bike into the curb and sit where you can see it.
22. So what if the other guy's faster, better to get there late than dead on time.
23. Keep your bike in good repair.
24. Motorcycle boots are not comfortable for walking.
25. More races were won in the pub than on the track.
26. People are like motorcycles: each is customized a bit differently.
27. If the bike isn't braking properly, you don't start by rebuilding the engine.
28. Never loan your bike to someone else and never ride another's.
29. Well trained reflexes are quicker than luck!
30. Never EVER ride drunk.
31. Ride as if your life depends on it - IT DOES!
32. The best alarm clock is sunshine on chrome.
33. If you really want to know what's going on, watch what's happening at least 5 cars ahead.
34. Don't make a reputation you'll have to live down or run away from later.
35. Be courteous to other road users, you may need their help someday.
36. Smoke and grease can hide a multitude of errors, but not for long.
37. Catching a bug at 120 kph can double your vocabulary.
38. The thicker your oil, the hotter you can take it.
39. Where you look, is where you go.
40. Don't ride fast on a road you don't know.
41. Don't ride so late into the night that you sleep through the sunrise.
42. It takes more love to share the saddle than it does to share the bed.
43. Don’t hesitate to ride past the last street light at the edge of town.
44. Breakfast and Coffee is as important as Petrol.
45. Whatever it is, it’s better in the wind.
46. When in doubt… accelerate.

47. A friend is someone who'll get out of bed at 2 am and drive to the middle of nowhere, to fetch you when you're broken down.

48. Remember to pay as much attention to your partner as you do your carburettors.
49. If everything else fails, consult your manual.

50. Live to ride, RIDE TO LIVE!

The 50 Redline Tips For Better Motoring
1. The wheel turns. Do unto others, as you would like them to do unto you.
2. If it takes more than 3 bolts to hold it on, it's probably crucial.
3. Never argue with a woman holding a torque wrench.
4. Routine maintenance should never be neglected.
5. A car on the road is worth 2 in the shop.
6. Keep your car in good repair.
7. Don't EVER drive drunk.
8. If at first you don't succeed, get an expert.
9. You get what you pay for, you buy cheap - you get cheap.
10. Never ask your car to scream before her throat is good and warm.
11. Driving faster than everyone else only guarantees you'll drive alone.
12. A good driver has good judgment and timing. So does a good lover.
13. Sometimes it takes a whole tank full of petrol before you can think straight.

14. So what if the other guy's faster, better to get there late, than dead on time.
15. The only good view of a thunderstorm is in your rear-view mirror. Never be afraid to slow down.
16. Overconfidence can be supplied by spare spark plugs, a set of spanners and a roll of toilet paper.

17. When you look down the road, it seems to never end, but you better believe it does.
18. Young motorists pick a destination and go... old motorists pick a direction and go.
19. Sometimes the fastest way to get there is to stop for the night.
20. The best alarm clock is sunshine on chrome.
21. Advice is free and worth every cent!
22. If the car isn't braking properly, you don't start by rebuilding the engine.
23. Just because you have ABS, doesn't mean you can drive fast in the rain
24. Use your lights what they were designed for - fog lights for fog, parking lights for parking.
25. Never loan your car to someone else and never drive another's.

26. People are like motor cars: each is customized a bit differently.
27. More races were won in the pub than on the track.
28. Don't let road-rage get the better of you.
29. Well trained reflexes are quicker than luck.
30. Always anticipate the worse case scenario.
31. Always give yourself enough room to escape.
32. Learn to do counterintuitive things that may someday save your butt.
33. If you really want to know what's going on, watch what's happening at least 3 cars ahead.
34. A friend is someone who'll fetch you from the airport and take you all the way home.

35. Don't make a reputation you'll have to live down or run away from later.
36. Be courteous to other road users, you may need their help someday.

37. Smoke and grease can hide a multitude of errors, but not for long.
38. The thicker your oil, the hotter you can take it.
39. Don't drive fast on a road you don't know.
40. Breakfast and Coffee is as important as Petrol.
41. It takes love to share the car, as it does to share the bed.
42. Don't drive so late into the night that you sleep through the sunrise.
43. Don’t hesitate to drive past the last street light at the edge of town.
44. Never believe the attendant at the filling station, check your vehicle's fluids yourself.
45. Don't throw cigarette butts out your window, some hairy-arsed biker might be behind you.
46. Remember to pay as much attention to your partner as you do your carburettors.

47. There is only one Michael Schumacher... and it's not you.

48. Drive as if your life depends on it - IT DOES!.
49. If everything else fails, consult your manual.

50. Live to drive, DRIVE TO LIVE!

Any contribution will be greatly appreciated

contact Kenn Slater

If you want to copy something from Redline... ask first!

Or I'll hunt you down and have my way with your body (if you're a girl),

if you're a guy... well, let's just say you've been warned!